Poisonous Love
by Kisarai Tao
Summary: She is bored. Then she finds a half-dead noble man sitting next to a tree. She decides to take him with her as her new toy. She loves games, specially those of the mind and of course cruel ones. Just like Sakujun Sa, as she is to find out. - Please enjoy my spontanous story. First try.
1. Chapter 1

I heard footsteps. Little feet running through the forest in a great hurry. A child? No, she was too grown up. It was a young woman with bloodstaines lips. She seemed familiar, but where from?

I didn´t know, I didn´t care. If she was important, then it would certainly pop into my mind. I turned around and continued my journey. A few meters ahead I heard someone whisper softly.

-I love you, Shuurei.

Followed by the silent thump of a hand holding something precious. His voice was beautiful, something I could listen to some more. Where did that voice come from? Shuurei? Could he mean the young woman from before? Most certainly, yes.

So that was Shuurei Hong, the governor-to-be. But if he loved her, why would she run away? Of course she loved the Emperor, but still. She wasn´t the type to leave someone hurt behind. Maybe she ran off to get help? I thought so.

I went on to see a man, holding a hairpin in his loose hand, his clothes bloodstained from the red coming from his mouth. He had kissed her. The young man had fair features, long rose-colored hair, that hang loose beyond his waist.. Now who could that be? If Shurei didn´t know him, she would have pushed him away instantly, but their kiss was longer than that. Maybe she wanted it, too? Interesting, just who was this man? And where was he wounded? He had dark rings under his eyes, there was blood pouring out of his mouth, running down his expensive clothing. But there was no wound. All right, poison it is. I was curious enough to get out of my little caravan and sat in front of him. I placed my hands on his face and moved it so he would see me, if he opened his eyes. Which he did.

I opened one of his eyes even further to see his pupil. It was one of my abilities to analyse any poison just by looking in someones eyes. I just knew.

He took a deadly poison. A poison free of taste, smell and color. It proceeded slowly, by far slower, than it should. I assumed he had a high tolerance to poison of any kind. But for this even he was not strong enough, noone was. I invented the most crucial part of it so i should know.

Poisons were one of my hobbies. But it was the part of me that i kept hidden. Always. Only my grandmother knew i inherited her addiction, but she passed away years ago. My parents were no longer around either. They were killed by my big brother who was now in jail for his crimes, which left me head of my family. I could do whatever i wanted, whenever i wanted. Right now i wanted to analyse this man a little further. He was barely conscious, if even that.

I turned around.

-Ginta, Muto, come here, please.

Two tall men came to me, looked at the man at my feet and then back to me.

-Hime-sama, what can we do for you.

-May we humbly ask who this man is?

-You may, Muto, but i´m afraid i do not know the answer. Actually, that is excactely why i wanted you two to come to me. I want to take him with me. Would you please be so kind and place him in my carriage?

They both blushed a little, like they always did when i asked something of them instead of commanding it. It made them feel more wanted and needed, as well as more attached to me. I did learn how to manipulate the people around me, but i really liked these two. They nodded and took the dying man. His head slumped back in his neck and his powerful body rested defenseless and vulnerable in the arms of my men. It made small whirlwinds appear in my stomach. Not the kind that you feel when you are in love. No, these weren´t those gentle buttelflies. These were the powerful whirlwinds of the greatest plasure i ever experienced.

This man sure was interesting.

Back in my carriage we resumed our journey and i watched the pale man laying in front of me. I took out a cloth and whiped the blood away that was staining his lips. What would it feel like to be kissed by those lips, to be touched by those pale hands?

If i succeeded in healing him i would know.

I took pit a scringe and filles it with my own blood. The beautiful mans´ breathing got shallow, too shallow. He woult not survive the trip to my residence. I had to do something about it if i did not want to lose my latest object of entertainment. And what could i do to prevent his death? I experimented enough with my own blood to know that it was a strong cure for most poisons. It was strange. My grandmother always told me i was ´special´, but i did not believe her until i was attempted to be killed by a poisoned meal. One of the nobels wanted me out of his way and got quite nervous when his method bore no fruit. He was arrested. It was then that i found out about my high poison tolerance. Later i did some experiments on myself and could prove that my blood could neutrilize most poisons or at least slow them down.

If i did not want the stranger to die i had had to give him my blood. I pulled up his sleeve to have access to his veins. Such smooth pale skin, yet muscular. I desinfected an area on his arm, then gunned him my dark blood. Taking out the needle i slightly bandaged him. He didn´t even stir.

He looked noble, his clothes expensive, no scars at all. Smooth skin and beautiful hair. His right hand was rough from swordsplay, but the left was not. He was not used to work. At least not with his hands. He had to be a noble.

Then i had an idea. The residence i was headed to was one i have never been visiting before. So there would be noone to recignize me, would there? I took out some paper and ink. I decided to play a game. It was a fun game and on top of that it would help me get rid of potential spies and such.

I told Ginta and Muto about my plan and they smiled a little. What i was abour to do was partly their job but they enjoyed it whenever i was at it. I gave them my letter and they went off. We stopped before the entrance of the large residence.

I smiled. Let the Game begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, i´m so sorry the first chapter was so short, i hope it won´t happen again.

I don´t own Saiunkoku Monogatari! What i own are my Ocs.

Please enjoy this story and let me know how i can improve it. Maybe you have suggestions regarding the storyline which is still in progress. Would love some comments and reviews.

Thanks a lot for reading.

Now on with the story :D

Sakujun POV:

I died! At least I thought I did. I did drink the poisonous water poured by... I don´t remember. But I´m sure it was a girl. A beautiful girl that meant a lot to me. Why else would I drink poison for her sake? Knowing me it was to crave myself into her memories. I know she didn´t love me back. But somehow she did. It is a strange twist of things, of that I´m quite sure.

I died. But if that is the case then why do I still feel the pain of that poison in my veins? If this is hell, than that pain is hardly everything I deserve. Either I would be in much greater pain or I would become a devil myself. I am not being tortured, but I am also no devil. I can´t move. From time to time I can hear some footsteps coming near, pain in my arm, later in my whole body, then the steps lead away again. These steps are delicate, it has to be a girl or a woman.

The door opened and the steps were coming near me. This time I felt a touch on my arm, no pain, not yet.

Her fingers stroke my arm. Such tiny hands. It could have been a child, but then I smelled her. She smelled of flowers, of some kind of powder and something else. Somehting entirely else that I didn´t recognize. She didn´t wear any parfume but still had the scent of a adult. And her touch was too experienced to be that of a girl.

She found the spot she was searching for and gave me something that enhenced my pain. I couln´t detain a groan from deep within. She either didn´t notice or didn´t mind. Did I do that before? Would seem like it, given her forcefully holding down my arm. Then I heard a whisper.

-Please, Sir, wake up soon.

I don´t know wheather it was that voice or the refreshed pain in my body that gave me the strength to lift a single finger. There was no sign of her noticing it. She stroke my arm once more, then left me alone again. The pain began to deepen with every second and I knew I wasn´t far from losing conciousness.

Time went by, but I couldn´t decide wheather it was fast or slow. I just existed until that woman came back. She never stayed longer than a few minutes. She always said a few sentences but never enough for me to really recignize her voice.

The days went by, everytime the pain returned, I regained some more power over my body. I could finally open my eyes, but I saw nothing but darkness. I could move my hands but I couldn´t feel anything. My legs couldn´t move at all.

The next time that woman came back I opened my eyes to meet the now familiar darkness. I felt her stiffen next to me. There was her whisper again.

-Are you awake, Sir?

I opened my mouth and tried to say something. Surprisingly my voice was steady.

-Yes.

-Do you know who you are?

-Yes.

-Can you tell me your name?

-Yes.

…

-Well then, would you please tell me your name?

-Senya.

I smiled a little bit. That was the name I always used when I didn´t want to reveal my true identity. It was the name I told … that unknown woman in the woods.

-Ok, that will do. Do you know what happened to you?

My little smile disappeared at the thought of my fate. How could I tell an unknown woman that I drank Poison of my own free will. That was not a good idea. A little lie wouldn´t hurt.

-I don´t know.

My body tensed as if I was trying to remember what happened but actually I wasn´t sure wheather my lying skills were back, too, so I didn´t know if she would buy it.

-Alright, don´t overexcert yourself. Are you in pain?

-Who are you, woman?

She was asking me all kind of questions and I wasn´t sure where I was or how I even got here. I had to start a counterattack.

-I am a servant here at the mansion. The princess wanted me to take care of you after she found you in the woods. She had some things to do, so she isn´t here yet. She sent me with you so she knew you would be taken care of properly. You know, when she found you,... you were dying. Maybe you don´t remember, but you were poisoned. It was a deadly poison that has only one antidote. I know, because I helped Hime-sama create it. You got that everyday now. That means just over two weeks. But because it is a prototype, we don´t know how it works or if there are any sideeffects. So I will ask you again. Are you in pain?

Now I got some answers. Did she sense my uncertainty? Is that why she was so willing to give me answers? Or did she just have a plain personality? She was so difficult to read with the way things were. But what was that about a prototype? The antidote to that poison was known since ages. I even put some into that Gan Lu tea in my old room. But I couldn´t tell her that. It would throw over my lies.

-Yes.

-Can you tell me about it?

-It is a dull pain that turns sharp everytime I get something in my veins. Then it spreads and burns through my body, stays some time and returns to that dull pain again.

-What would you say, does the pain travel through your veins, your muscles? Or does it focus in a certain spot?

-I don´t know, it is all around.

-Maybe the pain is just still too strong. It will get better, I promise.

-Then distract me! You know my name, but what is yours?

-Please call me Deina. I will be at your service, Senya-sama. Right now, I will have to leave you. I will return shortly with some water and some food.

With that she left. I remembered my first rule: Always believe your lies to convince others but never forget about the thin line between your lies and reality. With my mind as fuzzy as it was right now, even this simple task took a lot out of me. My body was still tense. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

Deina POV:

He lied! More than once. Of course he knew about him being poisoned. I even had reason to believe he drank it himself, out of his free will. Senya was not his real name, of course, but he did right to tell me a fake name. I would act the same if I was in his position. He tried to read me. He didn´t even move once, I was pinned by his eyes, but he didn´t see me. He was just good at covering his weaknesses. So the man from the woods was a good player, too. And possibly a bad boy.

After waiting for two weeks he was finally ready to fight back. Yes, that was promising.

End of chapter. What do you think, in what direction should this story go? Any ideas? Englisch is not my native language, so my spelling is not great, i know that, but please bare with me and try to enjoy. I would appreciate some Comments and Reviews, please. Thanks a lot for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

On we go. I just checked my profile ans saw that this story has reached the 100 views-limit. It is my first try on a longer story, so I am quite proud, thanks a lot. AND I got my first fav on this one, too. I want to thank you Hermione Voldemort Riddle . So I decided to update again, I hope, you enjoy.

I still do not own Saiunkoku Monogatari, but there will be some OCs ^^

On with the story:

Sakujun POV:

I finally managed to move my arm by the time that girl, Deina, came back. She set the tray aside and I felt her by my side. It tickled to have her around. She didn´t say a word until I opened my blind eyes. I couldn´t show her my blindness, she would certainly use it against me at some point. But she didn´t want to wake me either. It was strange. She teated me well but she was the only one I ever met during my stay. At least that was what I was thinking for I have been unconcious for most of the time.

As soon as my yes were open and I tried to make it look like I was looking a the ceiling, she spoke again and I could finally recognize her voice enough to tell that it was a young woman, maybe about 24 years old. It would fit my picture of her.

-Senya-sama, you are awake. How are you feeling?

-Thank you for your concern, I am well.

-Than would you please sit up? I am sure you are hungry

She had me cornered. I was hungry, but I couldn´t sit up. And if she motioned me to eat something she would realize I wasn´t able to see. I would dispose my secret and that was inacceptable. She felt me tense up, I had to think about something.

-Thank you, but I am not hungry.

I felt her smile.

-I may not know you Senya-sama, but I am not stupid and I am not deaf. You didn´t eat in a couple of days and I can hear your stomach growl.

I tried not to flinch. I wasn´t succesful. And my stomach growled loudly, indeed.

-Let me be blunt, Senya-sama. I am aware of you not knowing and thus not trusting me, so you want to keep your secrets, I accept that. But there is no point in denying the ovious. Your body has been through a lot and I cannot imagine the toll it is taking on you. I you deny the food simply because you cannot collect enough strength to sit up or lift your food, than you are being foolish. I am here to help you and to be of your service, but I cannot read your mind. You will have to communicate with me. So tell me. Do you want me to help you sit up and feed you or not? Either way you will have to eat something or you will not be any better, maybe even worse. The poison is still in your system, I have not been able to fully neutralize it, yet. You will need any strength you can get.

She made a point there, maybe even more than one. I had to give her a chance but still. It went against my principals to trust anyone, especially someone I haven´t even seen. Some complete stranger. And she was difficult to read, too. Or were my previous powers simply disappearing? Would I ever be able to read people again? What if not? I didn´t want to live my whole life being suspicous of everyone, knowing just too well what mankind was capable of.

But if this girl was really as nice as she was pretending to be...prentending to be...! I could just pretend to have more waeknesses than I actually have. It would give me an advantage and I could build up my game again. I put on an innocent face.

-You are right, Deina. I am acting foolishly. But you have to understand my situation. I was poisoned by someone, maybe someone I trust, and I cannot remember who my enemy would be. I don´t know where I am and I do not know what your princess wants from me. I am left in the dark and I am not getting any information. For what I know, you could be a spy sent by my enemies or someone wanting to harm me. How could I trust you?

I could feel her hand above my arm, levitating for some seconds, hesitating to touch me. The she withdrew and barely whispered her forst words before becoming louder again.

-I am so sorry, Senya-sama. Maybe you would feel more comfortable, if the person helping you with such tasks was a man?

-No, thank you. A simple maid would do. Someone that actually has experience with such situations.

-You mean an nurse?

I made myself blush, as if I was embarressed.

-Yes, please.

-Very well, Senya-sama. She will arrive shortly. But I will have to give you another shot of antidote. Please bare with me.

I felt her bow next to me and a few moments later she lifted up my arm and her slight touch sent shivers down my spine. Until the pain started again. My blood ran cold when I felt it.

-What did you apply to me? It is different from before.

-I just slightly increased the dose. You are awake now and I want you to get better soon, so I have to get rid of that poison as soon, as possible. The pain may be worse, but it will subside quicker, do not worry. I will leave you alone now. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to call for me.

With another bow she stood and left the room.

So I still could not move by myself, my eyesight was still gone, but my hearing got better every day and I could smell Deina. I could even feel her touch on my arm, even if I didn´t feel my fingers, yet. I just lay there waiting for the woman Deina would send. Only a few minutes later she entered. Her feet sounded heavy, her breathing was laboured and she smelled bad, even from that distance.

-I am terribly sorry for keeping you waiting, it won´t happen again. That good for nothing new maid. She sent me here to assist you on order of Her High Princess. Who are you anyway, Senya-sama? Where do you come from?

What happened? Who was that woman? She was terrible, wasn´t she. Trying to command me arround. Just hearing her made me want to get up and slap her face. I cursed my condition.

-I am the eldest son of a marchant guild working directly unter the emperor.

-So you are a wealthy noble, are you not? Better be, or else I will have to throw you out. That good-for-nothing girl didn´t tell you, did she? She has nothing to say, she is only tolerated because she is the private maid of Her High Princess. Even that princess is a slut. She is such a spoiled brat that wouln´t even show her face if it was for money and status...

I did not bother to listen any further. Appearently Deina just tried to be nice to me and I tried to see a devil in her. Maybe I even wanted her to be bad, so I had a reason to mistrust her. But seeing this woman made me feel bad about Deina. I regretted my behavior and suddenly I wished for her to be here again.

-Who are you, maid?

-Haruka. I´m the chief maid in charge of everything here. Now let´s see ow we can help our little „Guest-sama".

She roughly took my arm ans shoved me against the wall. I guessed it was her helping me to sit up. Then she started feeding me, but afterwards my stomach hurt, I was sure to have some ugly bruises over my body. I cursed my condition again. Why was I so weak that I couldn´t even protect myself against that woman? After she was gone I somehow managed to roll to my side, but I didn´t realize the size of the bed and fell out of it. The floor war hard and cold but nothin compared to Haruka. I just met her today and I didn´t dare trying to imagine Deinas treatment. Haruka was a monster and I almost felt pity.

My moral was just about to be turned upside down by a single woman named Deina. That strange feeling in my chest was the wish-the need to protect her. It was much to think about and it was difficult to keep my head clear with all that pain in my body. I dazed off and was just realized the door opening, a soft gasp for air and there she was again. That soft presence and her gentle fingers around my wrist checking for may vitals and disappeared through the door. Some moments later she reappeared with an big shadow folowing her. I barely heard their voices.

-Please, put him back on the bed.

-Yes, Deina. Do you know who he is, yet?

-No, I know he is a noble that was attempted to be killed. He said his name was Senya, but I know he´s lying.

-Why would he?

-Would you not? He could be dead, if it wasn´t for the antidote. We could just be some bad people trying to gain his trust just to get his money and kill him afterwards. How would you react?

-Right, you proved your point. Where should I put him?

-Just put him back on the bed...

I was pulled off the ground roughly.

-...GENTLY, please.

The whole attitude of the tall man changed. Suddenly he became very gentle, as if I was a very precious and delicate object, as he gently put me down on the covers. He appearently wanted to please Deina. Were they a couple? No, they didn´t speak that way, but there was certainly a bond between them. They talked a bit more, then the man left and we were alone again. Deina sat down next to me on the bed as I felt it slightly sink down under her weight. Her hand traced my arm, which shot pain trough my body. I couldn´t suppress a hiss and my eyes shot open.

-I am so sorry, Senya-sama. I didn´t know she would be so rough. Had I known...

-It is ok, Deina. Don´t worry about me so much.

-But you were put under my care...

Something wet fell onto my face. Was she crying? I didn´t want her to cry, at least not, when I could not see her while doing so.

I decided something. I would let her in.

-Deina, I have to tell you something.

-No, please, just rest.

-Please, hear me out. I lied to you...

End of Chapter.

Hope, I didn´t let you down with the story, sorra for tha late update. Had lots of stuff to do. I will try to not leave such long gaps between my updates.

Until next time^^


	4. Chapter 4

Again sorry for making you wait so long. I would reeeeaaaalllllyyyy appreciate some comments and reviews, lease?

I do NOT own the original Saiunkoku characters or the storyline, but I do own the characters you are not familiar with due to the series.

Please enjoy^^

* * *

-I lied to you...

Now, did I? It was my second name, the name of my second nature.

-My name is not Senya...

I was greeted with silence. What should I say next? Should I wait for her responce or should I just continue?

-...and I wasn´t poisoned. I took it myself.

Minutes went by without any answer. Then I thanked the heavens for my returned hearing for it was so soft.

-Why?

-I can´t remember that.

-I do not believe you. Why would you forget something crutial as that? And why would you take this poison in particular?

-Everything I remember is me taking the poison for someone I cared about. I wanted her to give me something that she wouldn´t. So I felt like I had to force her with my life.

-And did you get it?

-What?

-What you wanted from her. Did she give it to you?

-I do not remember, but I assume not, because I was saved by you and your Princess and I would never take a poison I don´t have the antidote for.

-But you did. There was no antidote to that one. I just had to come up with one.

-That can´t be right.

-Believe me, if there is anything about poison, then I certainly know about it. You had poison in your system but it was by far more than one. You may have taken a few of them but there were two deadly ones. I assume you took one of them. The other one was more difficult. I will tell you about them when you are well again. And now, tell me how you feel.

-Beaten up.

And that was true. I really did feel beaten, not just physically. but mentally. That would mean someone actually tried to kill me and would have succeeded even if I took my antidote and if the Princess didn´t find me. Why did she take me with her? I closed my eyes but couldn´t bring myself to relax. Then there were two tiny hands wandering over my arms, up to my shoulders. One of these little hands brushed a strand of my hair out of my non-existent vision. It was strange. My whole body hurt but where her hands traced my skin I didn´t feel pain. Her touch was so different from that of Haruka and that guy from before. It felt like she cared, really cared.

-Maybe I should leave you alone so you can rest.

When she stood up to leave I couldn´t stand it. I had to stop her, she mustn´t leave me. I quickly streched out my arm and was lucky enough to catch her arm. It was painful to extend my arm like that

-Please, stay!

She must have seen my pain. It was the first time anyone saw my real pain. She was back and sitting next to me. I wished I could see her face.

-Thank you, Deina.

-It´s ok,...What is your name? You are not called Senya, so what do I call you, Waka-sama?

-Can you just stick with that? It could be dangerous for me to reveal my true identity. Could you still refer to me as Senya, when you talk to others? Please?

-Sure, Waka-sama. I know you don´t want to be touched, but may I?

-Go ahead, help yourself.

I acted like I didn´t care, but actually I wanted to feel her touch again. It was the first thing I could really feel and it was great. A few minutes later she finally spoke.

-You have some ugly bruises forming right here on your arm, your stomach and chest. I didn´t check your back but I suppose I don´t have to as it is painful already. I know Harukas touch better than anyone else.

-Did she beat you?

I felt the anger build up inside me. Why did I care? She was just a girl doing her job and still. Now that I knew Harukas touch too I couldn´t imagine a delicate little girl like Deina suffering under such circumstances. Where was the Princess at such a time? Why didn´t she do something about it?

-Why are you not answering? Did she beat you?

-Not really...

-What is that supposed to mean?

-She didn´t beat me, but pushed me down some stairs when I first arrived. She locked me up and wouldn´t let me out because I was the servant of a Princess they do not know yet.

-How is that possible?

...

-The story of the Princess is a sad one. She is a delicate girl, protected from everything and everyone. When her parents were killed by her brother she was left all alone. Now she is head of her family but this mansion has never seen anything of her. They don´t know her and therefore dislike her for being a spoiled brat. But if they knew...there is so much more to her.

-Muto! What are you thinking bursting in on them like that.

-Don´t worry Ginta, I was just saving the situation. You know that Deina will not talk about the Pricess. I was just giving him the answers he was looking for.

-Ginta, Muto, please, leave us alone.-Deine sounded like she wanted to scold them for telling me that.

-Alright, I just came to tell you about Haruka. She was thrown out. The other maids were loyal to the royal family all along and couldn´t bare with her anymore. They worked together and threw her out. She was angry at least and was threatening our Princess. She has some serious friend with power. They could do anything, even kill Hime-sama.

-To whom could she go?

Deinas´ voice became slightly colder. And more serious.

-Maybe to the Sa family. The second eldest heir is known about his cruelty. He could even enjoy this.

-Does she even know this Sa-heir?-Deina wanted to know and something in me tensed up again. They were talking about me, the second son, Sakujun Sa.

-Hard to say. She said so, but I don´t know if we can believe her.

-Then go after her and report directly to the headquarters.

I heard the two men bow and leave.

-Say, Waka-sama, do you know about this second son?

-Yes, you could say so.

-And what do you think about him?

-I don´t know, It is not like I know him in person. What do you think about him?

-He is a player. He tries to read his enemies and is well at that. He is famous for his cruel games. For instance, he killed a whole household for disobeying him once. He did it himself, he is kind of a loner. But I prefer to think of him as a lonely man. He longes for love. He is desperate. He always got what he wanted so if there is something out of his reach then he almost always accepts the challenge. But that is all I know about him.

-Maybe that is enough about him for one day.-she said after I didn´t answer anymore. Pleased with the change of subject I tried to lead it back to our previous topic about her injuries but she beat me to it.

-Why didn´t you look at them? They were making a fool out of you and you didn´t even stir. It was like you couldn´t even see them. Look at me, please.

-I am alright, you know that, my head was just a little fuzzy because of the beating I got from Haruka. I didn´t want the room spinning around.

-Then look at me, please, Waka-sama.

I had to give up this fight. I blew my decision into room with a long sigh.

-I can´t, Deina. Ever since I woke up here I am blind.

-Thank you for being honest.

-What? Did you know? Then why?

-I wanted you to tell me because you wanted to and not because I forced you with all I had. I knew about your blindness right from the beginning, but other than that noone noticed. You hid it well but I had to deal with a lot of injured people in my life and thus I knew what to look for.

-And those two from before?

-They didn´t realize it. Just as you said they thought it was due to Harukas treatment. But please, don´t lie to me, I can look right through you from time to time.

-Thank you, Deina. I think I would name you Chief Maid. You are kind and gentle and loyal to your Princess. Everyone would appreciate someone like you.

-Does that include you too?

-What do you mean?

-Would you accept me, too? If I was to be thrown out, would you take me in?

-Yes, I would.

-Why?

-Because you are special. And I would like someone like you around me.

Did I really just say that? Did I really want her around? Did I let her that close to me already.

-Are you sure? You don´t even know me.

-Then let me know you. May I touch your face?

She shifted a little, then she moved closer to me and guided my hand to her face. I moved my other hand to meet her other cheek and scanned her face.

It was a petite face, mostly covered by her long hair. It went about to her shoulderblades. As if she didn´t want to be seen, as if she was hiding. I had to brush it out of her face just to feel her slightly puffy skin. There was no symmetry in that, her other cheek was smooth and delicately structured. Was she beat up? Then why did she deny it? I pressed my finger a little harder into her skin and she hissed softly at me. Then she cursed under her breath but I didn´t get what she was saying.

-Deina, you are hurt. How did that happen?

-Like I said, Haruka pushed me down the stairs...

-This is not that old. What happened since then?

-That is something I will not tell you.

-You already did. Now I know that there was indeed more than you are letting on.

-Fine, but that has to be enough for the time being. After that beating I can imagine how exhausted you are. I will let you rest for a while. And tomorrow I will send another maid to help you.

-Can you not do it?

-You didn´t want me to help you, remember?

-Yes, but it was just because I didn´t want you to know about my...blindness.

-You wanted to say weakness, didn´t you? Being blind is not a weakness, it makes your other sences stronger and that can be a special gift.

-I know, but I always relied on my vision and when that was gone...

-You don´t have to say anymore, I understand. So you don´t want a maid assisting you?

-I do not want anyone to assist me but I cannot help it, I need some help. And if I had to choose, I would like to have vou as my maid.

-I will bring it up on tour next maid-meeting this evening. Now, I will have to give you your next dose of antidote. There is not much poison left, but I want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

She wanted to lift my arm again but I beat her to it. I regained enough control over my body to freely command my arms and slightly move my legs. But it would take me some more time to be walking around again.

Deina gave me he shot and the pain took over almost as strongly as the first time. I struggled for breath for a moment. I lost my control over my arm and it slumped back down to me.

-It is ok, the pain will be gone soon. You just need a little reste now and you will be better. Until then I will make you some tea, ok? But it will take me some time as Haruka managed to take most of my supplies with her. Don´t worry, I will be back as soon as I can.

With that she left and closed the door behind her. Then I heard her tiny feet running away towards the kitchen. I was alone again. The pain didn´t want to cease this time. Was it only affective when Deina was around somewhere? What a strange girl, so different from Shurei...Shurei...Shurei! The girl in the woods that I loved. The first person I have ever felt something for, the only woman not willing to give me, what I wanted. The Errhu-playing wonderful girl, The way she always looked at me like she was scolding me. She was special. Special enough for me to want her making her Gan Lu tea for me. I played with my life saying that I would die in case she didn´t pour me some Tea. She only gave me hot water to keep me healthy. I drank alkohol before, so she was right, but deep within she just didn´t want me having the tea she made only for her special people. In this hot water was the poison I took and in the Gan Lu buds was the antidote that I didn´t get. I wanted Shurei to remember me, to always remember me and what better way was there? She felt responsible for me even if I was cruel. So what better way was there to make a caring woman remember me? Making her responsible for my death. It didn´t work. I kissed her, I certainly kissed her in her lips, but she still didn´t realize her feelings for me. She was in love with the emperor and somehow projected her forbidden love on me, that is why she didn´t leave my side.

All my memories were coming back to me and my head hurt. What was that? My legs were moving on their own. Somehow it was impossible for me to stay here in this room, I needed some fresh air and I needed to get out. My legs buckled over and I stumbled foreward, taking a hold of the sliding door just in time not to fall. It slid open and the wind blew around me. It cooled me down just enough so I wouldn´t hear my blood puslating an racing though my veins. Instead I heard something else. Someone was singing. A beautiful, strong voice not meant to be heard, but I did. My hearing really had improved and I heared something that possibly noone else could enjoy. Just who could sing so beautifully?

Suddenly I felt a presence next to me. A little presence, could it be Deina coing back with the tea?

-Deina?

-No, Waka-sama, my name ist Shizune. I will be you maid from now on, until you are better. I brought you your tea.

-Where is Deina?

-She was called for ba the Pricess. She will be on her way soon and wants Deina to travel with her. So she will be gone fore some weeks.

-She really is loyal, isn´t she.

-Yes, Waka-sama she is. I know noone like her. She really stood her ground against Haruka and noone ever dared to do, wha she did. She really showed Haruka, Waka-sama. They got into a fight and Deina won. She got a blow against her face, yes, and she tried to cover it ever since.

-So she really was hiding something.

She didn´t hear my last comment, for I barely whispered it. She just realized where I was.

-Ooooooohhhh, Waka-sama, you are walking! Does that mean you are well again? Can you see me?

-No, I cannot see you, I am still blind. Did Deina tell you about me?

-She only said not to be surprised when you don´t recognize me and I saw you once through the door. You looked exactely like my big brother, you know. He is blind and so I figured...welll...I´m sorry.

-No, it´s alright. But actually my feet don´t want to take me back to the room. Is it possible for me to stay outside for a while?

-Yes, of course, Waka-sama. Here, let me help you ti sit down.

She guided my hand downwards and waited for my body tu adjust itself. When I finally sat and she let go of my hand I finally realized how different these two girls were.

-Shizune, how old are you?

-26 summers.

-And Deina?

-I am not sure, she never told us her age.

-And the Princess?

-She must be around 24 at most. Maybe a bit younger. Why do you ask?

-I guess I am just curious, that´s all.

-Waka-sama, are you alright? You seem very pale.

-Yes,thank you, there is just so much for me to think about.

If it was Deina, then she woukd ask me about my thoughts and I would be more than willing to tell her. But Shizune was different. She wasn´t tuned on me, maybe she didn´t even care. She just saw a job in me and I had a feeling that it was more for Deina. Or was it just me? Did I want her to be mine? Why was I longing to see her? To see her face, her emotions?

Shizune left me alone for the night after I assured her to be able to go back to bed without any help. I should just leave the teapot outside, she would fetch it later on.

I took my hot cup and blew the steam away. When I took a sip, my blood froze and heated up the same time. This taste is what I was ready to throw away my life for. Gan Lu. Deina sent me Gan Lu tea and I felt myself falling fer her. Not long before my mind was full of the first girl I ever loved, Shurei. I wanted to die for her.

How foolish I have been. Throwing away my life for someone I didn´t even know, someone who was just different from everyone else. Was that the reason for me taking a liking in her? And what was it I felt towards Deina? Why was I sad that she left without a word? Why would she say anything to me anyway? I was just someone she saved on behalf of her High Princess.

I had to come up with something. I wanted to surprise Deina with my improvement. Today I could stand again, in the next few days I could rebuild my body to my previous shape. And if I could impress the Princess with my abilities, even without seing anything, then I could have a chance to always stay close to Deina.

When it became colder I stood up and searched my way back inside, slid the door closed and lay flat on my back. I scanned my body and measured the work that lay ahead of me. I couldn´t ask anyone to help me, if I wanted to keep it a secret so I had to do it during the nights. And there was still the poison in my system. The antidote was good and Deina said it wouldn´t take long to get rid of the poison completely, but now that she was gone...what would I have to do? I would just have to test myself. And maybe I would hear the beautiful music from before again. Maybe I would ask Shizune about it. The next day. Going on with my life. For Deina!

Yes! I died for a woman, but I will live for another one.

* * *

To be continued.


End file.
